Sunday, November 25, 2007

Caring Metered

Here is a double derivative poem (above) based on the previous poem (below). I made substitutions in the poem as stated below and the new poem has elements of iambic trimeter. If you are not familiar with the double derivative poem then please click here.

What I have done is substituted the word caring with:

I am stunned in how her
soft spiritual wisdom
confiscated my care
and delivered it in
summer shining prairie
windswept floral baskets
… of love

Liking is substituted with the following:

Cant help but be seduced
by her chocolate locks
and eyes shining a black
night horizon much less
the subtle curve in her
… waist

Lastly daily rituals of love is substituted with:

I breathe my care’s expanse
Cultivating my love
Tilling the space spreading
Compassion’s grace always
Practicing awareness
as she blankets all my
new experiences
teaching me to focus
… care


Nihal said...

Very interesting and really caring one Kaz! Plus, I loved the headline: Caring Metered:) So cool:)

Kaz Maslanka said...

Thank You Nihal! I appreciate you coming by!

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